This morning my reading was about letting go of self-criticism. Understanding that we may have more we want to work on and more growth, but we need to take time to look and rejoice at how far we have come.
It may not be where we thought we would be. It may not be where we others want us to be. But it IS where we are. Change may be slow and at times, it’s grueling. We may take steps backward in the process.
I know I do. I have been reverting to old behaviors around food since I ran my marathon last weekend. It aggravates me that I have come so far and yet am able to stop using tools that have kept me sane, given me relief and have kept me present to joy I would otherwise miss. — And yet, here I am. I am right where I’m supposed to be.
** Learning that my self-sabotage is alive and well? I know part of this is disappointment in not meeting my time goal. Some of it is not having a race coming up to work toward a new goal. Either way, it is not serving me well.
Eating when I am not hungry and not stopping when I am full solves nothing for me. It only keeps me from feeling the disappointment for a moment and then I am left with a too full belly and the disappointment on top of it. And seriously, disappointment that the weather was not what I had hoped it would be and that I was freezing from the start and never warmed up? Disappointment that my stomach was off? These factors were out of my control. I could not have changed the outcome. So, here I am. Letting go of self-criticism. Giving myself a pat on the back for finishing a marathon that was grueling for me. That caused some disappointment. Oh well. I am alive and well. I have this gorgeous family that I adore. I have holidays coming up that I get to celebrate with family and friends. I do not want to miss another moment by eating insteading of just being here now.
We only have this moment.
Today feel good about how far you have come in your journey to health, wellness, abundance, and peace in your life. Be gentle and kind to yourself.